January 12, 2012 - 25 Things About Me

Back a few years ago my buddies on Facebook were all filling out these personal surveys. I was thinking about those today and remembered one that was pretty open and deep. I pulled it up and am going to share it here on a google blog for all the world to see. Pretty brave huh? But do keep in mind, it is over 3 years old.. Ok here it goes -

1. I am a simple person - well, I suppose this is something many DO know about me. But I am not into makeup, manicures, fancy restaurants, brand names.... although I love these things as occassioanl treats, they are just that. I enjoy the simple things in life such as looking at the moon, reading, taking long walks ( when it's warmer! ), cuddling and watching TV, playing games with my daughters..... just enjoying the basic things and what God has given me in nature.

2. I am a Christian although at times - many times - I know my words and actions don't convey that. I am a member of Trinity Baptisti Church in Manhattan and teach the 4/5 year old Sunday school class there most Sundays at 9:30am. ( Don't ask me how I make it on time after hanging out with you guys till the wee hours on Saturday nites!) But I feel like I need to do more than just be a " Sunday Christian" and truly let God shine more through me by being more obedient to Him and patiently allowing Him to guide me instead of taking everything into my own hands and rushing forward.....

3. ....which I guess leads me to #3 - I am a pretty impatient person when it comes to certain things- like people who stand still for no apparent reason on a downward moving escalator during rush hour! HELLLLOOOOOO - I gotta get to to work so MOVE IT!. And people who drive soooo sloooowly up the block as you are deciding to cross with a red light - make up your mind already ! - will I make it or will you run me over??? I hate waiting for an answer, or people who begin a story, and then say "I'll tell you the rest later" or " there's something on my mind but I can't tell you right now" - Then why did you start it in the first place??? . GRRRR!!!! And worst of all - 60 minute weekly tv shows that need a winter break and a summer hiatus! Whats that about?? If " All My Children" can be fresh and new 5 days a week, 52 weeks a year, why can't you give me a new hours worth of "Grey's Anatomy" each week as well?? Yet, other times I am so patient, like when it comes to baking and decorating a cake ( my true passion in life)... I could spend hours and hours getting it 'just right' and it's relaxing for me. It's funny - I am sitting here trying to think of at least one more thing I am patient about... and I can;t come up with ANYTHING ! LOL

4. My mother was my best role model in life. Good things and bad. She died almost 3 years ago of cervical cancer. I sat with my sister and one of my two brothers in the hospital room and watched as she tooks her last breaths. She made her own decision that she was "ready to go HOME" . She had polio as a baby - right before the vaccine was available- and had a tough childhood. Was told she would never walk without some type of brace, and yet went on to be on the soccer team, the basketball team, and was teachers pet in gym, defying the odds. She raised 4 children without much help - any help at all really- from any of the fathers. Had bouts with drug addiction and alcoholism, moreso before I came along. As she got older she needed the aid of crutches and then a wheelchair. Then in the fall of 2004, at age 66, she found out she had cervical cancer. ( contracted it and it is preventable, but thats another story for another day) Had to go for daily radiation treatments, in her wheelchair, all throughout the winter mind you. Yet she never felt sorry for herself through any of it. Never missed a day of work, never abused 'the system', never cried "why me?".... she had become a born again believer many years back and always knew God would take care of her every need. And He really did, until her very last moment. In the hospital my mom wasn't too coherant - could hardly understand, and when she did, she could hardly speak. Yet two of the few things she did understand and respond to - my little Annabelle said "I love you" and my mom replied" I love you too" - so clearly and dearly. And later I told me mom how she did " a good job with us kids" to which she responded " I know". It made me laugh and yet I am glad she passed knowing that she was loved and appreciated.

5. Okay, something less serious - and don't think badly of me for it - I don't wash my feet much during winter. Let me explain - my feet are in socks and shoes all day, and then slippers at home. I take a shower EVERY day, lots of times twice a day - and I wash from head to - well, to ankles - i just figure the soap will continue down and circle my feet , and I dont wanna get all slippery and fall. in the summer it's a must considering I live in flip-flops.... but winter, well, not so much. And no - they don't smell! Hmm....maybe this 25 things thing wasn't such a good idea after all! LOL

6. My daughter Amber is 16 and is my best friend. She and I share so much...even though at times we can be distant, we both know that we can count on each other at any time for any reason. We have been through so much together - sometimes I wish I could go back and erase some of the stuff I have put her through. As I watch her grow into adulthood, I can already feel her slipping away. But even still, I know we will always be best friends no matter what life may throw at us. I am truly blessed that God has entrusted me to raise not only a daughter, but given me a truly wonderful friend.

7. The thing I could eat as a staple for breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day - CEREAL. I love a wide variety of them. As a kid my favorite was Fruity Pebbles - which I now detest! My mom used to take Frosted Shredded Mini Wheats and put milk and a little butter and heat them in the microwave - YUM!!! As an adult, my favorite is Quaker Oat Squares, although I can still get down with Honey Combs, Apple Jacks, Honey Nut Cheerios, or a simple bowl of Corn Flakes but only skim milk on my cereal. Whole milk is like glue and onlu good for hot coffee ( right 'Cisco? LOL)

8. I have always struggled with insecurites as to my weight. I look back at the countless times I joined Weight Watchers ( 2 years ago being most recent where I lost 19 pounds). On one hand it gives me comfort to see that I have remained in the same weight rage give or take 5 pounds since before I even got pregnant with my oldest daughter 17yrs ago. ( At present I am on the under-side of that number thank goodness) Yet on the other hand, I get annoyed that I can't stay motivated long enough to get rid of those extra pounds. I try to think of myself the way God does - as the child He created in His image and loves and sees as beautiful no matter what. I don't judge people by their outward appearance and yet for me I never feel 'pretty' enough. If only you could see me try to prepare for a simple A&D gathering - trying on each and every item in my closet to see which one looks "least fat" on me! ( and those few who have experienced me do this know what I mean). I must open and close that closet door about 20 times - always thinking maybe something new has magically appeared in there. It is only very recently that I have begin to accept myself for who I am - faults and all -with a little help from some of you. So thanks... there's still a lot more work to be done.

9. I have declared bankruptcy twice - I'll leave it at that.

10. I have never dated a white man - I'll leave that one at that too.

11. I have been a birthing partner to one of my best friends and watched her baby being born. Cool!

12. mini facts - I have lived in Manhattan, Queens, Brooklyn, and almost the Bronx ( Washington Heights - kinda Bronx-y??? ) before settling in Roosevelt Island;, my 2 daughters and I myself were all born in the same hospital ( St Vincents in Manh) ; I don't like cherries but LOVE cherry-garcia frozen yogurt, and I dont like avocados but LOVE guacamole; I'd rather IM than talk to on the phone; my favorite TV shows of all time is a tie between Facts of Life and Melrose Place; I wear a size 9 shoe - and HATE sneakers ('cept when working out- and we all can see how much i do THAT) cuz they don't feel 'feminine' to me for some reason; I've always wanted to move to Vermont; I am geographically and history-aly challenged and never paid much attention to those subjects; I love Starbucks green tea lattes and pumpkin spice lattes as occassional treats; i enjoy watching Jeopardy! and think Wheel of Fortune is a waste of time; I can't swim well ( no comments about 'floatation' please! ); God's best fruit - a mango:

13. My first experience with alcohol was at age 14 , sitting with Amy Frank and my other friend Lynne Freeman and drinking a Passion Fruit Calvin Cooler. I got all giddy and Amy kept shhhhing me to be quiet so her mom wouldn't hear us. After that I really didn't drink much - till hanging out with you A&D people!

14. I have been in an abusive relationship - emotioanlly and physically at times - not too extreme, yet any abuse is still abuse.

15. My father was married when I was conceived. His name is not even on my birth certificate. We had very little contact when I was younger, only seeing me when he knew his wife wouldn't find out. He would send money for Christmas and my birthday, and took care of my dental bills ( weird!). He moved to Florida when I was about 16 and then would call or write sometimes. His wife knew about me, yet didn't want him to have anything to do with me. And him, being termed by mom as "wishy washy" , did his best to "obey" her wishes as far as she knew. Which meant me NOT calling him. He and I had many a conversation about religion - him being Jewish ( although not practicing) and me being Christian. In a weird twist, as my mom was in the early stages of her illness, my brother told us a joke to lighten the mood. It went kinda like this - " 2 bears find 3 men in the woods. They tell the men that they are gonna eat them and if they have any final words. The first man scribbles a note to be left for his wife, and then the bears eat him. The second man says a heartfelt farewell to his other friend, and then gets eaten as well, The third man says " Wait, I am a Christian"... so before they eat him, the bears pause and say grace." Such a stupid joke ( and I didnt even tell it right) but I relay it to my dad in an email. He writes back how he's not a Christian and to stop " forcing" my religion on him!! From that day forward he never spoke to me again.....

16. I have been on 2 cruises in the past 2 years - one 5day to Canada and the other a 4day to Mexico. Am hoping to do a longer one sometime although I haven't figured out a destination yet.

17. I was raised with the biblical principle of "never take the Lord's name in Vain". It was a rule in our home and if ever spoken, the offender would have their mouth washed out with Tide.( I never did it, but saw the results when my siblings did). I hate it when I hear others do it. Imagine every time something went wrong, people would yell " Oh _______ !!!" ( fill your name in the blank) as if YOU are the reason for the problem. GRRRR it drives me crazy!

18. My dream would be to take a year off from my everyday life and attend the French Culinary Institute and learn everything about baking and decorating cakes without having to worry about tuition, child-care, work, or anything else.

19. I have a pen-pal from Germany named Helga who I met through responding to a letter she wrote to a store that used to be located in the apartment building my mother lived in. We began corresponding over 10 years ago and she even came and stayed at my apartment for a week a few years back. It was a great experience and I did touristy things I had never done even though I was born and raised here in NYC.

20. I used to chase my cat around when i was kid with a broom handle. She would get so scared that when I put down the broom I could hold her and she wouldn't move. It was my way of getting attention since my mom worked the midnite to 8am shift as a deskclerk and slept during the day, and my brothers were out doing their own things, so Smokey was my only friend.

21. Ha! Speaking of friends - I used to have an imaginary friend named Mary Ann. Whenever I did something wrong , I'd say " it wasn't me, it was Mary Ann". ( hmmm.... i guess mom never seemed to buy it since I was the one to receive the punishment)

22. I have 3 scars on my forehead, although I've never had any stitches. First was when i was like 3 and I was running to show my mom a picture I colored and ran smack into a corner wall. It bled like crazy, and my mom slapped a band-aid on it and said " it'll be fine". Second was when i was watching TV at a neighbors house and leaning on the wooden handrest and it came loose. It fell into the small garbage pail next to the chair and swung up and hit me in the forehead. Once again my mom slapped a Band-Aid on it. The smallest and last one came from the abuser and lucky for me I dont even remember what caused it. Live and learn........

23. I am usually a nite owl...I just wish i could/would learn to sleep later after being up so late. My internal clock will wake me ( when my daughter doesn't!) at like 8:30am and if I sleep past 9, I usually feel as if I've wasted the day.

24. My favorite month is September and my favorite season is the fall. I love the kids excitement in going back to school, pulling out my comfy sweaters, getting ready for the holidays, and watching the leaves change and fall from the trees. And the best part is when the red cups get into circulation at Starbucks, That's a true sign for me that the holidays are begining and my first Peppermint Mocha latte brings a smile to my face.

25. I am not into chain letters, FB applications, nonsensical (sp?) questionaires, and things of that sort, but this has been kinda interesting. I see myself as an open book, never one to hide things about myself..... which kinda made this task a little challenging since I kinda think most people who know me know most of this stuff already. I haven't re-read this since it has taken me like 5 hours to complete as I am working at the same time ( LOL ) so please forgive any grammar/spelling errors. But now that all is said and done, I encourage ya'll to so it as well.... you may re-discover some things about yourself that you forgot, and want to share some of that with us as well.

Haha. After re-reading all this, most of it is still true. Hey, don't judge me :)

Xoxo
-me